Growing up, I hated my skin color. In Cambodian culture, dark skin is a mark of lower class, hard labor and ugliness. I was called “khmow”, which means “black one” in Khmer, a lot as a child. I refrained from staying out in the sun for long periods of time in fear of getting darker. I even stopped swimming for 10 years because I was told that was what was making me darker.
Trying to rid myself of my skin tone, I started using bleaching facial creams in middle school. I finally woke up one day a realized how ridiculous I looked. My face was white as a ghost while the rest of my body was tan. I ditched the beauty regimen and just owned the skin I was in.
As get older, I learn to love my Cambodian melanin more and more. Yes, my complexion may be evident that my ancestors were of the working class, but I’m proud of my roots because it helps mold the work ethic that I have today. But even despite that, my skin shouldn’t epitomize who I am. It compliments who I am.
Although society has taken leaps in redefining beauty standards, I can’t help to feel like Colourism is still a cloud looming overhead defining who we are and our worth. This ideology is still prevalent today and I couldn’t find a more appropriate time to bring up the topic of Colourism. Not only has color segregated America for 400 years, it also dwells within minority groups. When I first spoke about Colourism on Instagram, individuals from all ethnic backgrounds — Black, Latina, Indian — related to being shunned for being a shade too dark. The lighter, the better; hence another reason why white privilege is real.
I think it’s time to change the narrative on what beauty means — from the shape of our bodies, to hair on our head and down to the pigment of our skin. I think we should the beauty in all things. Because at the end of the day beauty is a figment of imagination. Black is beautiful, brown is beautiful, olive is beautiful, olive is beautiful, white is beautiful… you and every atom that makes you, you… is beautiful.
In these photos I’m wearing Natori lingerie, a company that encourages women to celebrate themselves. The black bra is the Bliss Perfection Contour Underwire Bra, and the pink bra is the Cherry Blossom Convertible Bra. The me 5 years ago would be uncomfortable with these photos. Now I celebrate my shade and how my body has changed. If anything that has changed greatly is my heart, mind and spirit. I’m capable of loving more, I’m wiser and I have so much passion for life.
Thank you to Natori for kindly sponsoring this post. All opinions are 100% honest & completely my own.
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